This past week, I was honored, along with other members of the Baltimore Board of Rabbis, to meet with Angela Alsobrooks, the Democratic candidate for Maryland’s open Senate seat. The stated goal of the meeting was for County Executive Alsobrooks to get to know Jewish leaders in the area, to help us get to know her, and to discuss issues that were of importance to us as members of the Jewish community. Our conversation was a lively and meaningful one, with us sharing personal anecdotes and speaking frankly of the concerns that keep us up at night.
One anecdote in particular has stayed with me. County Executive Alsobrooks made frequent mention of her father’s influence on her worldview. With the love and respect she feels for him evident in her words and her demeanor, she shared that he has often said to her: “Do you know what’s wrong with people, Angela? They know more than they understand.” Hearing her share that story around our meeting table, I was immediately struck by the truth that it conveyed. Over the course of the past week, that idea has come up again and again for me, especially when thinking about the difficult and painful events that have marked this time. We also see this truth in Parashat Balak. Balak seeks to engage Bil’am to curse the Israelites because he “know[s] that whomever you bless is blessed indeed, and whomever you curse is cursed.” (Numbers 22:6) Bil’am, for his part, knows that God does not want him to curse the Israelites, placing obstacle upon obstacle in his way. And yet, neither of these two seems to discern the deeper messages in what they see before them. From the Torah’s perspective, this is a very good thing, as these powerful people who were bent on cursing Israel are thwarted. However, their lack of understanding made them dangerous. They were unable to properly assess the situation in which they found themselves, and acted based on their knowledge, rather than any true understanding, attempting over and over to cause grave harm to the Israelites. The horrible events of this past weekend and the constant news updates that have continued unabated since then highlight for me the distinction between knowing and understanding. Inundated as we all are with information and new information and still more new information, we certainly know a lot about the assassination attempt against Donald Trump. And every time we refresh our apps or turn on the television, we know more. Especially when major events like these are unexpected or frightening, it is natural to want to know what’s going on, to have all the details. Knowing things is how we begin to make sense of our experiences. The 24-hour news cycle tells us that it is knowing, being informed, that is the goal. Reconnecting to the story about County Executive Alsobrooks’s father, so many of us know things. But knowing is only the beginning; it is understanding that is the real goal. Personally, I have struggled this week with understanding the state of our nation, of our politics and the hyperbolic rhetoric that accompanies our political discourse. While I know how we got here, I do not understand what holds us here, in a place where violence is seen as a tool of expression. I do not understand the perspectives of those whose viewpoints are diametrically opposed to my own. I cannot fathom the humility, deep listening, and hard work it will take to move us toward a place of healing, which we so desperately need. I do not yet understand. Thankfully, I know that knowing is not enough. Shabbat shalom.
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I’ve been thinking this week about the experience of being alone. I see it in many ways throughout Parashat Hukkat - the dual losses of Miriam and Aaron leaving the people without much of the leadership that grounded their time in the wilderness; the desperation that comes from their lack of water and the sense of being without help; Edom rejecting the Israelites’ request to walk through their land, leaving them alone to figure out the next steps of their journey. We see in the parashah some of the darker shades of being and feeling alone. Even the Haftarah, the story of Yiftah and his terrible vow, demonstrates the tragic side of feeling and acting alone.
Being alone can indeed be a challenging and painful experience. I’ve certainly been feeling some of that this week. With my summer custody schedule - the kids alternating weeks between me and their father - I’ve had to become accustomed to an emptier house than I’m used to. Everything is too quiet and the lack of parenting-related structure to my days has made it hard for me to feel as productive as I usually do. The brutal heat has kept me indoors where it’s air conditioned more than I usually would be. Even when I have been with others, I’ve wanted to keep my distance in order to allow my body to cool off as much as possible. A couple of months ago I heard a story on NPR about the epidemic of loneliness in America. I had turned on my car in the middle of the story, so I didn’t catch everything, but I do remember being intrigued by the idea that was shared about alone-ness and loneliness not necessarily being the same thing. The reporter explained that it is the quality of people’s connections to each other that matters most. One can be surrounded by people and feel deeply lonely. While I agree with the story’s message that forging meaningful relationships with others can have both psychological and physical health benefits, I want to take a moment to flip that idea around and connect to the blessings of being alone. Reflecting on my experience of being alone, especially on “off weeks” like this one, I appreciate the opportunity to focus on myself a little bit more. I’ve been sleeping longer and better, listening to my body’s needs and attending to them, taking a break from my usual hustle and bustle, getting lost in a few different books, even daydreaming a little. The little bit of freedom from some of my typical responsibilities has made room for me to be more mindful and enjoy my solitude. This is a time of year when many of us take breaks from our usual routines and obligations. We go on vacations, take time off from work (and even from shul - I missed us being together last week!). Whether meaning to or not, we retreat from each other. But being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. My wish for us is that our times of aloneness provide us with the break we need to be with ourselves, care for ourselves, and renew ourselves. Enriched in this way, our reunions will be that much sweeter. Shabbat shalom. |
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