Parsha Chayei Sarah – Isaac, Shlemihl or Ideal?
Judy Jacobson
Genesis 23:1 – 25:18. After the binding of Isaac, Sarah dies. Abraham buys her burial cave. Abraham’s servant finds a wife for Isaac, using signs for God’s approval. Rebecca at the well meets the test. She agrees to the marriage. Isaac loves her and is comforted after his mother’s death. Abraham dies age 175 years and is buried by Isaac and Ishmael.
This d’var torah is about Isaac.
But first…I’d like to talk about the masculine ideal in our world.
In the past – and continuing in many ways in the present – the model man is brave and defends himself and his family, who acts decisively, who confidently takes what he wants (including his woman, maybe multiple women), who bonds with other men in a sort of denigration of women’s ways, who is happy to leave emotions and nurturing to the females in his life …
But there is an alternative. A “new man” – a nurturer, who shares childrearing and housework, who can accept leadership from women in the family and on the job, who will stand up for women’s dignity and rights even when other men are scornful of women generally and women’s decisions … our husbands, our co-workers, our sons, we hope… And may the day come speedily and in our time when the new man is the model man for our society and the world …
So consider Isaac’s story:
His parents are old. His mother protects him, especially from his older half-brother Ishmael.
When God tells Abraham to kill Isaac as a sacrifice, Isaac is bound and placed on a pile of wood on an altar. Abraham lifts a knife to kill Isaac, but is stopped by God at the end. Was Isaac a young boy at the time? He was placed by his old father on the altar after all, it’s not clear…
Sarah dies and Abraham arranges to find a wife for Isaac, who is then 40 years old. Rebecca is chosen, she agrees to the match. Isaac takes Rebecca as his wife and in an unusual sign of emotion in the Torah, he is said to love her and find comfort with her after his mother’s death.
Rebecca is barren but after Isaac pleads with God, she has twins, Jacob and Esau. Later, when Isaac’s eyes are “too dim to see”, Rebecca directs her favorite, Jacob, to trick Isaac into giving him the blessing due to Esau, the older and Isaac’s favorite. Isaac dies at the age of 180 and is buried by his two sons.
Stepping back - Is Isaac sort of a shlemihl? Protected by his mother. Goes along without a peep with his own near death. Some say, permanently traumatized by the knife wielded by his father. Tricked by his wife into a mistake on his most important decision, the choice of blessing one son over the other.
But note - in a part of his story not usually emphasized, Isaac acts as a competent trader and negotiator like his father (even doing the wife as sister switch like Abraham).
The Etz Chaim commentary notes that Isaac is sometimes seen as merely a bridge between the two stronger patriarchs, Abraham and Jacob, and that biblical scholars have quipped that the patriarchs might accurately be listed as “Abraham, Rebecca and Jacob.” Rebecca is the one who shows aggressive and zealous commitment to the divine plan. Isaac is the one who goes along with what others plan and act.
But generally our tradition will attribute positive characteristics to important figures in our heritage. So Isaac is seen as having great merit in his obedience to God’s will by his cooperation with the Akedah’s near-sacrifice.
A Reform rabbi, Bruce Kadden, points out that Isaac’s life has three aspects that are unique in the patriarchs: he never leaves the designated land (later to be the land of Israel), he has only one wife, and his name is not changed. Rabbi Kadden considers Isaac as an Ideal -
The picture of Isaac as shlemihl rests partly on his described subservience to the women in his life. Is he “hen-pecked”? Is he “whipped” in a coarser phrase?
What would it be like to take Isaac’s relations with women in a different way and claim Isaac as a “new man”?
What do you think of Isaac as a patriarch who speaks to us today?
Is Isaac actually more of a role model than Abraham or Jacob? Are there other “new man” role models you can think of in the Torah?
I say, let’s take our role models where we can find them. Maybe Rebecca is the active “patriarch” of her time, but Isaac is a great “new man” role model.
Judy Jacobson
Genesis 23:1 – 25:18. After the binding of Isaac, Sarah dies. Abraham buys her burial cave. Abraham’s servant finds a wife for Isaac, using signs for God’s approval. Rebecca at the well meets the test. She agrees to the marriage. Isaac loves her and is comforted after his mother’s death. Abraham dies age 175 years and is buried by Isaac and Ishmael.
This d’var torah is about Isaac.
But first…I’d like to talk about the masculine ideal in our world.
In the past – and continuing in many ways in the present – the model man is brave and defends himself and his family, who acts decisively, who confidently takes what he wants (including his woman, maybe multiple women), who bonds with other men in a sort of denigration of women’s ways, who is happy to leave emotions and nurturing to the females in his life …
But there is an alternative. A “new man” – a nurturer, who shares childrearing and housework, who can accept leadership from women in the family and on the job, who will stand up for women’s dignity and rights even when other men are scornful of women generally and women’s decisions … our husbands, our co-workers, our sons, we hope… And may the day come speedily and in our time when the new man is the model man for our society and the world …
So consider Isaac’s story:
His parents are old. His mother protects him, especially from his older half-brother Ishmael.
When God tells Abraham to kill Isaac as a sacrifice, Isaac is bound and placed on a pile of wood on an altar. Abraham lifts a knife to kill Isaac, but is stopped by God at the end. Was Isaac a young boy at the time? He was placed by his old father on the altar after all, it’s not clear…
Sarah dies and Abraham arranges to find a wife for Isaac, who is then 40 years old. Rebecca is chosen, she agrees to the match. Isaac takes Rebecca as his wife and in an unusual sign of emotion in the Torah, he is said to love her and find comfort with her after his mother’s death.
Rebecca is barren but after Isaac pleads with God, she has twins, Jacob and Esau. Later, when Isaac’s eyes are “too dim to see”, Rebecca directs her favorite, Jacob, to trick Isaac into giving him the blessing due to Esau, the older and Isaac’s favorite. Isaac dies at the age of 180 and is buried by his two sons.
Stepping back - Is Isaac sort of a shlemihl? Protected by his mother. Goes along without a peep with his own near death. Some say, permanently traumatized by the knife wielded by his father. Tricked by his wife into a mistake on his most important decision, the choice of blessing one son over the other.
But note - in a part of his story not usually emphasized, Isaac acts as a competent trader and negotiator like his father (even doing the wife as sister switch like Abraham).
The Etz Chaim commentary notes that Isaac is sometimes seen as merely a bridge between the two stronger patriarchs, Abraham and Jacob, and that biblical scholars have quipped that the patriarchs might accurately be listed as “Abraham, Rebecca and Jacob.” Rebecca is the one who shows aggressive and zealous commitment to the divine plan. Isaac is the one who goes along with what others plan and act.
But generally our tradition will attribute positive characteristics to important figures in our heritage. So Isaac is seen as having great merit in his obedience to God’s will by his cooperation with the Akedah’s near-sacrifice.
A Reform rabbi, Bruce Kadden, points out that Isaac’s life has three aspects that are unique in the patriarchs: he never leaves the designated land (later to be the land of Israel), he has only one wife, and his name is not changed. Rabbi Kadden considers Isaac as an Ideal -
- Isaac is a role model for Zionists, and he also shows that Jews need not wander but can put down roots and make a home.
- Isaac does not take a concubine when Rebecca is barren but shows loyalty and commitment to his wife, despite the culture of polygamy around him.
- Isaac’s name is given by God in prophesy to Sarah and Abraham. There is no need for Isaac to go through a transformation and name change. He can be true to himself.
The picture of Isaac as shlemihl rests partly on his described subservience to the women in his life. Is he “hen-pecked”? Is he “whipped” in a coarser phrase?
What would it be like to take Isaac’s relations with women in a different way and claim Isaac as a “new man”?
- He openly expresses grief at the death of his beloved mother.
- He is not ashamed to show love for his wife Rebecca and to stay with her in times of trouble and not look for another, more fertile substitute. He continues to love her (he’s caught “fondling” Rebecca in the wife/sister episode).
- He follows his wife’s wise decision on passing on the heritage to Jacob in the next generation.
- He shows interest and ability – given difficult circumstances – in parenting and family relations. When Esau reveals the trick to Isaac and pleads for a blessing too, Isaac answers with sympathy for both sons…
What do you think of Isaac as a patriarch who speaks to us today?
Is Isaac actually more of a role model than Abraham or Jacob? Are there other “new man” role models you can think of in the Torah?
I say, let’s take our role models where we can find them. Maybe Rebecca is the active “patriarch” of her time, but Isaac is a great “new man” role model.
